peek-a-boo

1st, i would like to extend my oh so late holiday greetings.. happy holidays!.. ahaha.. u see, i wasn't able to post any entry since november and i am truly sorry for that.. (as if u care.. char!) but lemme explain.. i was out of the radar becoz of my work and my ever perfect-for-me boyfriend!.. ahihi.. i cudn't blame my family and my frnds f dey think dt i dnt hav tym 4 dem anymore.. becoz that seems to be the picture.. and so as spice girls said it "too much of something is bad enough.." i am trying to balance things out.. and having this post is a positive step.. (am blogging from my phone btw and am so loving it!) i know dt my friends miss me already and so i wil take tym 2 make up for d lost hours and moments.. artei.. i've got lots of things to say but it's already 7am and i haven't had any sleep yet i need to go to work at 2pm later.. till then.. mwah..

when it rains...

it really damn pours!.. almost 2 months after i resigned from peoplesupport.. i will finally work again.. this time at west contact services.. another call center.. pioneer batch and i will have a freaking signing bonus.. equal to the amount of my basic pay!.. haha.. and at long last, i will get my backpay from ps which should be at least substantial enough for me to give in to my caprices.. haha..

pre-occupied

it's been a while since my last post. and during that period, lots of things happened that even i gets amused by it. i resigned from work. i had a boyfriend. we broke up. after 5 days, ai met this wonderful guy. who's promised to be everyhting that i have wished for. and so far, he's not letting me down. fate works mysteriously. i was kind of devastated when i broke up with rich. but then again, jay-r proved to be someone else. we clicked. both of our families know that we're together. and there's no you-and-me-against-the-world drama. also money is not an issue with my relationship with jay-r. and by that, i'm overwhelmingly happy. haha.. love it. but i have to find a job though, coz christmas is coming and my responsibilities come knocking in our door every month. so busy. so busy with my boyfriend.

hiatus

i need a break..

from duties and obligations. work is on its prime as the worst place that i could be. i just wanna have fun. breathe and relax. widen my horizon. and oh, one of the reasons why i'm not blogging is because i'm busy.. with flirting. maybe, this way i forget about that schmuck.

less and new

it has been a month since i was assigned and trained to take a new line of business in my account.. from level 1 to level 2.. i ended my first month in the specialty queue without hitting any metrics! i really felt that i didn't deserve the promotion of sort. and i don't settle for mediocre.. i wasn't born and i didn't grow up to be fine with a performance that's not remarkable and which is under par of my standard. with focus and hard work, i was able to do better. i was able to hit some but not all. still i'm happy that i improved. which is acceptable because there's still an elbow room to do good the next time.
but things are changing. people are leaving. and adjustment is inevitable. my supervisor of 6 months made the choice to leave the company reasonably because a better opportunity awaits her. also a former mentor and team-mate resigned as well. plus, a budding friend said that she too is resigning. i know that what is happening is natural. but i still can't help but be sad about it.

it was the time of the year again for realignment. meaning, new team, new team mates. and with all of this change, i hope i can cope with it coz it has always been hard for me when the situation calls for me to adopt new environment or whatnot.

100th

and so after almost two years of blogging (or not blogging).. this post is my 100th.. and this marks another chapter in the making.. i would like to thank my dad for buying this pc that i'm using and myself for paying the bills for our broadband. darn. i'm not a great writer who does win every reader with my posts but at least i try to keep it true and make sure that every post has an authentic "rhon" in it. blogging in a way is a therapy for me coz whatever that occupies my mind as long as it is blog-potential, i blog it. i so love the idea that people all over the world can read what i have to say and some of them can relate to it.

and so, to you who's reading this, thank you.

after midnight junk (under)delivered..

i woke up at 3am.. that is because i was up till 4pm the day before and today's my first rest day from work in which i have been sleep-deprived for the past 2 days. my work shift starts at 1 am. but enough of that.

i woke up looking for something to eat. but there's nothing in the fridge except water, juice, chocolate bars and frozen foods. i wanted some lazy food. and so i dialled for jollibee delivery. the operator to say the least was like a prosecutor who's asking a whole lot of questions than the usual.. i mean i have a record with them that i ordered over the phone before, so all he needs to ask is my name, phone number and my order. that simple. i'm hungry and the operator is incompetent. i wasn't pleased by that so i said that for someone who's working at a customer service.. he sucks!.. i disconnected the call and phoned mcdonald's. i got a better rep on the line. i ordered a 1pc chicken, large sprite, large fries and a hot fundge sundae that was promised to be delivered by 30minutes. okay. while waiting i checked my mail for new messages. i almost forgot that i'm dead-hungry and that there'd be a delivery of the food i ordered. the delivery guy of mcdo was so dumb. i gave clear and specific instructions on where to deliver but he texted my number which i gave to the operator saying that he was lost. after a couple of exchanged messages, alas, i now have my junk. it satisified my craving but the experience is a lot less thrilling. after eating, i'm at my window smoking a stick of dunhill frost and i realized that i could've cooked my own food without any hassle but i was just plain lazy.

bound to be shared.. broken.. limping.. but still beating..

i have prepared myself that i could end up growing old alone..

yes, somehow in a way i'm anticipating that would come but as hopeless romantic as i could be, i always dream that there's this one person who'll share his life with me.. who'll offer himself wholly to me and for only me.. the one who will fill the void in my life..

but i don't know.. i thought i found that person which i foolishly always think when somebody comes into my life..

for the nth time.. mistress seemed to be the role that i get and play without my knowledge.. if i'm really greedy and if i only think of myself, i could stay in whatever relationship that we have not minding his other love.. but i can't just be content with that.. i know i'm good enough for someone.. someone who'll give his full attention and affection.. who's unfortunately up to this time is still an enigma.. and besides i can't stay because i know that our relationship will lead nowhere..

if there's one good thing that came out of this.. it is myself not being so bitter..

which i was when this happened with my first love.. more so with that person who didn't even utter to me that he will soon be getting married..

can't i just find a guy who's not attached with someone else?.. because it is always in the end that i find that they're committed but sadly not with me when i have already fallen.. and i will not draw myself to self-destructure when i know that what i'm taking is a road without any directions.. worse, i know that in the end i will be left alone.. but as leona lewis sang.. it'll all get better in time..

so f*cking busy!!!

it's been quite a while since my last post here.. been busy sa work nd all.. i'll try to update u guys from now on as much as i could.. okei.. luv yah..

so much..

i don't think that i'm ready for really big obligations yet.. not now.

but shit presented itself. and i'm having a hard time coping with this situation. having the sole burden of providing for our family.. that is so much.

i know and i have anticipated that this would happen.. i have thought that when i'm at my 30's then i would be the one to be the breadwinner of the family. i would take care of my parents. by that time i would have given them every good things that i would want to give to them. i wouldn't have a family of my own that's why i have accepted the fact that i will be there fro my family. but it's unfair.. the situation calls for it.. it calls for me to be mature.. am just 22 years old. young, ambitious and selfish at times.. now, thinking of my wants, needs and caprices are not on top of my priority list.. i wish i could turn this around but there's no other way for me to deal with it.. don't get me wrong, i love my family but i just can't help but to question.. why is this happenning?.. we used to be well off.. i mean we don't have any problems making both ends meet.. and our basic needs and so much more were provided by my parents.. but i'm not happy with what's going on now.. i know that this is a test from God.. i just hope that we can get through it..

15-minute of sleep

happy new year!!!

december 31, i have a shift till 4.30 in the afternoon.. excited to come home so that i could help in preparing for media noche.. i was lying in my bed trying to get some sleep so that i'd be an energizer bunny all throughout the night when 2 of my cousins show up in the door of my room.. they were there asking for forgiveness for the stupidity that the group has done to me.. i'm not singling out a person because they were a lot of them who's to blame really for what happenned.. i said my piece and pointed out that i was hurt by them.. they said theirs but it wasn't justifiable.. they called "back-ups" to convince me to join the group's new year's eve party.. they seem to be sincere.. if you look at it, it was just a misunderstanding and i would be over reacting if woudn't forgive them and not show up in the party.. and besides it's a new year's eve party! i couldn't stand to not be with them knowing that there is an occasion.. alas, group hug happenned.. i forgave them but i said that i won't expect much from them after that conflict.. they got my point.. which they can't quite question as of the moment..

i went downstairs and spent some quality time with my family.. and my family is complete in attendance! hehe.. we're taking pictures and eating the dishes that my mom and my sis prepared for us.. but this year seems to be different maybe because we didn't use a single firecracker.. and it was for a good reason because my two niece were unfortunately not feeling well at that time and my eldest sister is pregnant.. so gunpowder smoke would be lot annoying and harmful to them.. plus the fact that we're on a budget! haha.. we just blasted our stereos off, clinked the caseroles, blew the trumpets and blew the horn of our car.. 12midnight the surrounding skyline was lighted by different fireworks.. courtesy of the unknown within the vicinity.. free fireworks show!! hehe..

i then went out and joined my friends.. still bitter but okay.. hehe.. red horse is unstoppable.. and it was pouring all night.. i was happy not only because i'm friends with them again but because of my "somebody from november 10" wss also there.. with his wife.. ouch!.. but whaddaheck.. am okay but still bitter!.. ahaha.. we were singing, dancing and just plain making a fool out of ourselves while getting intoxicated.. screaming happy new year and giving each other a beso.. my voice was rambling.. still i was able to consume (unconsciously) a pack of marlboro menthol in about 2 hours or so.. and taking care of myself is one thing that i want to do this year.. but i'm such a big phelon.. breaking that ode in the first few hours of 2008!.. haha..

but what ticked me off that night was globe.. fucking shit!.. there's no unlitxt!.. and sulitxt is not dependable!.. good thing i have sufficient buffer in my credit.. so i was able to text those who sent me their greetings.. no text no greeting.. haha..

i was drinking all night yet i was not drunk but then i had to go home for i need to go to work on 7:30am.. haha.. good luck!.. i entitled this entry as 15-minute of sleep because yes you guessed it right.. i had only that short of time to sleep.. which i'm convincing myself up to now is actually a power nap! ahaha.. i wasn't able to have a hot water for my bath because i would be late.. and for the nth time, i was late again!.. haha.. migraine is kicking in.. still i need to take calls.. good thing we don't have a supervisor yet and we were on priority six so there are literally no calls until the last hour of our shift.. i had several cups of coffee to keep me awake but still i was sleeping in my station.. well, but there's one thing that made me not to sleep and that is my crush!!.. ahaha.. such a flirt.. we were inches away in the pantry standing in line for the vendo machine! he smiled at me!!! ahaha.. cheese.. my co-workers and i brought some foods to share with each other.. we were like convicts in a jail! ahaha.. but the foods were delicious.. they enjoyed the sweet beans that i brought..

i forgot my cellphone at home because i was late.. i wasn't able to put it in my bag because i was in a hurry.. now i'm at home alone because my family went to fun ranch at tiendesitas and i wasn't able to come because they had no contact with me and i didn't know that we will be going out today!.. it's now 7:45pm and i just ate beef and mushroom, still deprived of sleep.. so i think i should get ready and get some deserve sleep!

what a way to start this year!!!

where's the belt??

8 days to go till christmas.

once i was a child, and this was the season of the year which i truly look forward to come because everything seems to be just right.. like you're going ecstatic for simple and little things.. like going to church to attend a mass with my family and going shopping to buy new clothes for christmas and new year.. the fun that me and my friends had when were doing caroling.. mka-dos lang sa isang bahay tuwang tuwa na kmi.. eating puto bumbong after simbang gabi.. and of course the aguinaldo na bigay ng mga ninong at ninang ko at kung sinuswerte may pakimkim din galing sa mga kamag-anak at kapit bahay nmin.. and sometimes dahil sa sobrang katakawan eh naiimpacho pa dahil ang daming handa.. christmas truly is for children.. but in the eyes of a grown up, christmas truly is an expensive season.. i'm all grown up now.. i still go to church with my family but i do the shopping myself.. i was asked to buy my own outfit and also my mom's and my eldest sis'.. i can't go to every house in our barangay for 9 nights singing my lungs out and be content kung bigyan man nila ako ng 10 piso.. but i think me and my friends can do caroling on the 24th.. haha.. tamang kikil.. but puto bumbong is still good and now i appreciate eating bibingka.. and the thing that i'll appreciate more is if my ninong and ninang will still give me my aguinaldo! as if! but this thing is confirmed, i will be the one giving such para sa mga inaanak ko.. haha.. i know that delectable foods will still be there but i also know that beer will be overflowing! this time, less food.. go for beer!! because i can't drink that back when i was 7.. it's justified.. christmas season is not even a month long.. but with so many expenses i need to be in a survivor mode..

explicit (?)

it's my 69th post!! it's not really overwhelming considering that my first entry was made back in 2005 (i rekindled my interest in blogging this year of august) but the reason that i'm posting an entry about my 69th entry here is because i adore that number! ahaha.. kink side kicking in.. but i think i can't really post explicit pics with hard-core action going on here in my blogsite.. because my site isn't all about homo-eroticism.. not that there's anything wrong with that.. i made this site which will chronicle all of my interests and happennings in my life and i'm delighted that quite a number of people appreciate it.. so for now, i'll be conservative (which i think i am in a way) with naughty pics (not mine of course! hehe)..

nosebleeding..

hooray!!! well am not celebrating because am having had nosebleeds recently but because we have e-net connection again here at home.. we terminated our contract with smart bro and got a globe.. dahil sa globe posible.. haha.. i can update my blogsite as much as i want and if i still have the stamina to do so on everyday basis because again am working at a graveyard shift..

nosebleed!!! because we're still in the client specific training, that's what we, well, i for myself, feel every now and then. i can still remember that information overload is the one thing that you can expect if you'rn a training for an account at any call center. that's what i also experienced back in ibm daksh. and here at peoplesupport things are no different. it's just a good thing that our trainor is friendly and he always extends our breaks which gives us more time to pollute our lungs while we're taking a cig in the company's "lung center".. haha..

and this is my world again.. i wanted to have another but then again maybe am short of being brave to explore a different place.. i just hope that more than anything else, this time i would have the will to stay in the business and work my way up in the industry's ladder..

confused but not dazed and so many things..

it's been a while since my last post.. am so sorry.. smart bro wasn't as reliable as much as i hoped for.. but eniweiz a lot of things happenned since my last entry.. you can read that i was melodramatic the last time..

but before that, me and my friends watched beyonce at the fort.. the ticket was a complimentary from my good friend from high school christine.. and no, we were not at the general admission! social! haha.. beyonce was such a phenomena! she delivered and went beyond everybody's expectation.. sad because we were unable to catch the first few songs that she sang because we're late.. there was a heavy traffic around the fort.. finding a parking spot was such a challenge.. and running to the entrance was exhausting.. but it was all worth it.. i love her! she's not only a singer but a total performer..

after the concert, we went to eat at kfc buendia cor. pasong tamo at the caltex station.. we we're still in a hyper mood because we're still reminiscing how great beyonce is.. but we received a terrible news.. my friend, kate, the twin sister of christine, wasn't able to passed the board exam to be an engineer.. she said there were 4000+ who took the exam and only 1247 passed.. she was devastated.. she was sobbing and wasn't able to eat her food..

but the roller coaster ride of that night didn't end there, because as tita connie, mom of christine and kate, was about to eat her spaghetti, we were shocked to find a big dead cockroach!!! yuuuck! i suddenly lost my appetite.. we did what a frustrated and angry customer would do.. we made a scene in that store! asking for an apology, a refund for everything that we bought and an incident report.. the manager was startled.. he didn't know what to do.. they gave us everything we demanded for except for the incident report.. we actually took pictures of the spaghetti with the cockroach.. it was on christine's cell.. as soon as i get the copy of it.. i will devote a new post everyhting about our kfc experince..

but back to me dreading november 10...

yes.. it did happen. he got married.. i was even the emcee of their wedding's reception.. i think i did good.. i was able to come through it without any tear falling down on my cheeks.. it was so surreal, like i was having an outer body experience.. i can't believe that it was actually happenning.. that i am keeping a smiling face all throughout the wedding, the reception and the party in their house.. he was every bit of what a groom should be.. as much as i want to, i can't be his bride.. maybe in another lifetime.. haha.. but really, i'm happy for them.. bitter but still living.. soon, i can get over him like i got over to the many of them before..

am not hurting severely anymore.. maybe because flirting helps the heart heals.. you may disagree with me but it keeps me busy and it also give a smile to my face.. it's my way of diverting my attention from one love to another prospect.. haha.. but i'm not on a mission.. i just flirt a lot.. but at the end of the day, it's still him, my "somebody"..

and lastly, i can look forward to the end of the month.. bum no more! i'm a part of peoplesupport now.. and my wallet which has been in a drought for so long will be able to taste thousands again!.. haha.. at last i can pay my credit card bills.. and not only that, i'll be getting my backpay from ibm daksh!! am so rich this end of november!!! haha..

so many things.. so lot to say.. am so confused..

I want to Skip November 10

No, I do not have an exam on that day.. it was long ago that I was once a student.

It's also not the day that the world will see a naked picture of me.. if i have one.

My credit card bills aren't due on that day either.

And definitely that's not the day when Mariah will drop her latest album.

But that's the day when somebody, my somebody, will say... I DO.

I'm having a hard time coping with the situation.

Seeing him and acting like everything's ok.

I'm awake and not floating in a fantasy world.

My heart bleeds.

I fake smiles and laughters.

Sorrow is translucent behind my eyes.

Fighting back tears.

Maybe what we have was no more than a tease.

Just an ilussion.

But backed up by his proofs of love.

I'm invited to his special ocassion.

What am I to do?

I dread to hear him say those words.

Because I will never be the one to answer that.

He can never put that ring in my finger.

This is reality.

Heartbreakingly. It's a fact.

I'll put on a brave face.

But he knows it'll be just an act.

I might cry. I might sob.

I just want to skip November 10.

For it not to happen.

But am no psycho.

I'm not selfish.

I want him to be happy.

I wish them well.

Me Likey

i didn't go anywhere! it's just that i am "busy" making tambay. and also rekindling the friendship i have with my old friends here na hindi ko nakikita nung nagtatrabaho pa ko. i have just completed my clearance from ibm and i can actually look for a job now without any hassle. but as usual.. tinatamad ako.

the past couple of days was very intoxicating! and it's because there's like an occasion every other day. kung sino sino ang nagbi-birthday. and you know that together with the happennings is the usual inuman session ng barkada. of course sa mga inuman, present ang mga boylets..

so basically, the reason why i haven't written some posts here is because of the guys who give me another reason to find a dayshift job. because if i'll work at night again, then it would be next to impossible to make tambay and make landi na rin with them.. haha..

Nostalgic Encounter and So Much More..

September 19.. It's the date that no matter what happens I will never ever forget because it simply is associated with a VERY VERY special person in my life. It was his birthday. But since he doesn't live around the block anymore, I never thought that I would be able to see him.

I was with my cousin smoking a marlboro lights (there's no marlboro menthol available) when I saw him walking and wearing a yellow shirt and maong shorts. Damn! He didn't change a bit. He still is drool-worthy! It's short of being an odd incident that in just a snap we returned to the usual conversation that we used to have. It was his birthday so being a manginginom that we are of course the emperador and red horse are overflowing.

We packed up a couple of minutes after 5am.. He then said that I should take things slow and gave a pretty good advice while holding my hands and gave me a very comforting and long hugs that you know I really loved! You see he said that he's been hearing stuffs which I did and he's not happy to say the least. We parted ways with him saying that he's concerned about me and should follow his advice for the sake of our "great past". Haaayyy..

disappointed and melodramatic..

when's the turning point? am not having the best days of my life to say the least. everything's not going my way. am so disappointed with myself! it was the opportunity that i was waiting for but then i messed up. i lost interest. now i can't help but be sad about it. am having my mariah carey days.. maybe there's no need to dwell on what happenned.

broke.. bummer.. ber month..

menstruation comes once a month. am not affected! but it would be a miracle if i'll experience that! haha.. actually my concern is the bills that i have to pay every month, soon i can kill the postman! when i was still working as csr at ibm, i gave in to my caprices and as always a very impulsive buyer. the not so pretty result, a staggering debt on my 2 credit cards! waahhh..

i still don't have a job and i cannot actually complain because am really not looking for any! i've been telling my friends that i could be an f.a. sa pal (food afficonado sa palamuning kwarto not a flight attendant sa phil. airlines) haha. official bum. i need to get my ass off of this computer chair and start to hunt for a well-paying job.. wish me luck!

tomorrow, the --ber month will take off. and that only means one thing - the gifts that i will give whole-heartedly to my godchildren, my family, friends and also for myself. this idea is like a driving-force for me to get a job asap. or maybe i could just try my luck on the lottery! haha..